Act I
Scene I
Scene I
(A sparsely populated Powell. Mid-afternoon.
Luke sits down on the rowing machine
to warm-up for 'back and shoulders' day.
He notices Elliptical Girl behind him
and the pair of guys staring at themselves
in the wall of mirrors.)
Luke sits down on the rowing machine
to warm-up for 'back and shoulders' day.
He notices Elliptical Girl behind him
and the pair of guys staring at themselves
in the wall of mirrors.)
Luke
(softly, to himself)What in the...?
(Luke notices the fifth person in the gym:
Werewolf Guy. He's alone.)
Werewolf Guy. He's alone.)
Mirror Starer 1
(To Mirror Starer 2, observing his own biceps.)Yeah, man I know!! It was SICK!!
(Luke tries not to acknowledge this unnaturally
loud conversation obviously intended
to catch the attention of Elliptical Girl.)
loud conversation obviously intended
to catch the attention of Elliptical Girl.)
Luke
(under his breath, slightly shaking his head in disgust)
Shut the...
(Werewolf Guy stands after
stretching on the floor for 3 minutes.)
stretching on the floor for 3 minutes.)
Werewolf Guy
CHOO!! HIYAAA!!!(He yells and chops and kicks the air around him,
swiftly and forcefully. He stares ahead, looking into
another dimension. Loud sound of a clap.
Luke looks up at the sound which is
werewolf guy stomping on the ground.
Luke slows his pace on the rowing machine.)
swiftly and forcefully. He stares ahead, looking into
another dimension. Loud sound of a clap.
Luke looks up at the sound which is
werewolf guy stomping on the ground.
Luke slows his pace on the rowing machine.)
(Yelling out loud but to himself)
YOU CAN DO IT!!!! YAAA!!
(Luke ends his warm up and walks
to the water fountain. He walks past a
still-jumping Werewolf guy. Luke drinks.
7 swallows. 8 swallows. He turns to leave
the fountain and stops.
Werewolf guy removes his shirt,
making it immediately clear why his name
is Werewolf Guy.)
to the water fountain. He walks past a
still-jumping Werewolf guy. Luke drinks.
7 swallows. 8 swallows. He turns to leave
the fountain and stops.
Werewolf guy removes his shirt,
making it immediately clear why his name
is Werewolf Guy.)
Luke
What are you doin', man?
Werewolf Guy
(Quick, sporadic hops and floor-punching movements)
I...flip.
Luke
Do you know how to...? A back flip?!
(Reluctantly)
Do you...want me to spot you?
Werewolf Guy
Yes. Here.
(Elliptical Girl and two Mirror Starers
take notice. Luke places his left hand
at the small of Werewolf Guy's forest of a back.
His right hand on the Werewolf's leg,
ready to spot. 45 seconds pass.)
take notice. Luke places his left hand
at the small of Werewolf Guy's forest of a back.
His right hand on the Werewolf's leg,
ready to spot. 45 seconds pass.)
Luke
(Sheepishly)
You gonna do it?
Werewolf Guy
(Breathing hard)
No. No flip.
As much as I love touching the extraordinarily hairy back of a stranger, I was glad when he said I could go. I used a whole bar of soap to wash my hands. I'm glad you now know, Community. Have an excellent day...don't go to Powell.
2 comments:
It's okay, Luke. You can tell me that the hirsute subject of your tale is actually a person with a name that begins with Kr......and ends with.....is Wasemiller.
I really miss Abilene sometimes.
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