Miss Moneypenny and predictably Bond

The only places I go are the gym and to bed. I'm more habitual than a nun dress. (eh, pretty weak) I'm also cheap-o. Like a nun dress. (stronger) So when I learned there was another gym in town whose monthly costs were 1/3 of my current one's, it was aloha Just Fitness 24, and aloha Gym X.

Of course there's a blonde hot desk worker.

When I walk in for the first time to scope the place, she greets me.

Blonde Hot Desk Worker: "Hi can I give you a tour?"

Me: [witty response]

BHDW: [sheepish grin]

I couldn't have scripted it any better.

But obviously there will be no more chapters in this tale. Examine the evidence: she works at a gym; she works at a gym called "Gym X". To state the stereotype, both thermospherically high indicators of centuries-old craziness. But I'd be lying if I said I hated walking past her desk every trip to the gym. There exists, then, a constant tension. A perpetually fulcruming teeter-totter.

So she's Miss Moneypenny. And in this analogy I'm predictably Bond.

By the way I'd recommend all you Blahglievers get a real life Moneypenny. A little flavor for your vanilla days. Unless you like vanilla, which I do. Then she's vanilla on your chocolate days. Wait, this is turning racial. Flavor on your flavorless days.

Reeves out.

Gear Review

It was at a small, relatively spartan ski resort in Colorado that I spent my spring break. No fully-enclosed gondolas or mid-mountain lodges to pamper me. It was mountain versus man and into battle I could only bring my gear. It would be an understatement to say I survived the week; irresponsible to say I deserve all the credit. I had good gear. So, bravely, I'll share with you my secrets in case you're planning to battle a mountain in wintertime.

Lange World Cup 130 Ski Boot

Purchased online, I was nervous how they would fit. Luckily they stayed true to Mondo sizing and they fit my feet well. The notoriously difficult entry/exit is acceptable considering the extreme comfort my foot enjoyed all day. Good ankle angle for all-mountain shredding and roomy toe-box for warmth made me forget I was wearing ski-boots. I have narrow (but manly) feet, and this kick was just right, so if you've got Frodo feet, bind 'em then buy these boots. They're fantastic. Plus you look macho.

Marker M 11.0 TC Free Binding

Park binding for park skiing, race binding for race skiing. Bindings should purchased for function. I didn't do that. I purchased for price. Luckily they fit my style of skiing (epic) and I can only give these a glowing review. In the one real instance when I needed them to breakaway (sixth gear into waist-deep powder, avoiding trees (I think razor-oaks)), they were flawless. Otherwise, they gave lots of response on the groomers, and stayed tight when the temperatures spiked and made stuff messy.

Rossignol S3 Pommier Ski

Classified as a twin-tip, and called an all-mountain sled with park capability, the S3 can hold it's own anywhere. My 170s had a toe/waist/heel of 122/92/115, making them ultra versatile. They're the SUVs of skis. With less chance of moral judgements being thrown at the owner. While I did spend some time in the park, let's say my quest to see if the skis could handle a triple-Salchow-magnum-pipe-tanker-twist is yet unanswered. There are certainly skis out there that handle speed better, or handle the park better, or handle the trees better, but there are probably few that do all three better. The S3 is like a German Shepherd.

Rossignol Phantom 7000 Ski Poles

They're ski poles. They're all the same. Like men. (WHAT'S UP LADIES!!! Look how funny and self-aware I can be.)

In conclusion, I only gave praise; no critique. If I watched the show, I would make a hilarious American Idol reference here.

Yes, that's an udder: