God bless the Ewe Essay

Old Stacian Update=1st XI team beat Wye by 146 runs Saturday!! Superiority smells like goat.

Transition, U.S. flag graphic over right shoulder

Today we celebrate the day when our country was actually started, April 30th 1789. Don't be fooled by declarations or civil skirmishes; our country began when we threw a party for the beginning. Nothing says 'free country' like a mini-Mardi Gras. From the balcony of Federal Hall on Wall Street, George Washington took the first oath of office and distributed beads to busty coeds cheering below. After 13 skyrockets and 13 cannons, Washington began the tradition of the 13 days of Hanukkah. Dreidels and latkes (George's favorites) were passed out for 13 days by town bakers (origin of 'baker's dozen').

Another interesting historical note-After a crowd member mistakes a courteous but half-hearted request for forgiveness by the commander-in-chief (following an accidental shoulder bump) for legal action, the presidential pardon is born.

Transition and personable grin

Thanks for tuning in, Blahg-lievers. Be good.