A day in the life

Appropriate levels of self disclosure is desirable for anyone in any situation. Here's a peek into the life of a Blue Bell employee. The smell of diesel at 4:45am is quickly forgotten when from the chaw-stained lips beneath a handle-bar mustache of my driving mate bellows the sound of a country radio station singalong: "Ain't nothin' better than a longneck beer and a long legged girl!!" A labored cackle and a spit in his old cup complete the pre-departure routine. We traverse the cratered parking lot a little too quickly and a squint-inducing crash can be heard from the giant freezer box affixed immediately behind us to our International DuraStar Model 4400. "Well ain't that a fuddrucker!*" says he, "there's gon be ice cream all over the place back there...oh welp." He's not worried: I'm the one who has to hop in and out of the -20 degree freezer all day in a t-shirt retrieving necessary product for each of our roughly 18 delivery sites.

I cling to my Shipley's Donuts coffee mug as a stuffed animal. The minutes pass like minutes and before I know it the clock strikes 8:00am and I've been at work for more than 3 hours. From gas station to truck stop, supermarket to outhouse disguised as a country store, we: 1.say hi, 2.deliver ice cream, 3.say bye, 4.repeat. Occasionally some ill-willed grandma who obviously hasn't peeked at the latest Allure will throw a giro-ball in our routine and ask "Now why would they discontinue double-dutch-almond-brownie-mocha-mango-crunch?! That was my favorte flavor!!" If you're out there ma'am, there are many reasons, not the least important of which, the FDA allegedly has distinctions between human consumables and rocket fuel.

Mile after mile and racial slur after racial slur, we finally make it back to base. By this time (2:00pm) the transport has arrived from Brenham with a fresh batch of product. About 25 pallets of ice cream and assorted snacks in the back of a tractor-trailor rig await, but recieve no attention before the unofficially mandatory ice cream break. These people really do eat all they can then sell the rest. The taste test is completed and the break room resembles an explosives test zone. Now it's time to see who can throw out their back and contract gum cancer first by using awful lifting technique while dipping. Critical thinkers not welcome.

I'm sure there's more to it, but then again, I'm sure there's not more to it.

Transition

Can't wait until Yi dunks on Noah.

Transition

Adios Community. I'm off to bed for another 4:00am shift. Spread the word.





*He didn't say 'fuddrucker'